Introspective
by Caz251
Summary: Getting injured leaves Tony with some time to think.


Written for the Thursday Vignettes prompt 11/4/19 at Rough Trade.

Also my 500th fic :) Didn't expect to ever have 500 posted works (big or small doesn't really matter to me) when I first started writing fanfiction, or that I would have branched out from Harry Potter or Torchwood, but here we are :)

Tony sat pensively staring at the trees across from him flexing his hand constantly, trying to regain some sort of feeling from the limb with very little success. His mind was racing, something that wasn't exactly unusual, but normally he could work on whatever project he had going on to help settle his thoughts a bit. Unfortunately that option was unavailable to him at the moment, with only one hand working properly he knew that working on any of his current projects wouldn't be wise, even with the help of his bots.

Instead he found himself becoming rather introspective, actually thinking about all the random thoughts that seemed to be flying through his brain faster than a quinjet. He knew he would be out of action for at least a few days, the nerve endings in his fingers wouldn't stop tingling, and once his hand was functional again he could start work on repairing his suit. He tried to keep his mind on the repairs he was going to make and the improvements he had in mind, but it kept drifting to the words Pepper had spoken when she had found him cradling his hand earlier in the day.

'How much more is Iron Man going to take from you Tony?'

The question had been plaguing his mind since she had uttered it then left without waiting for any kind of response. He was glad she had, as he had no idea what his response was to her question. He knew that she was talking not just about the current functionality of his hand, but also about their tattered relationship. Pepper was content to only look at the negatives of the situation, she wasn't willing to look at what Iron Man had given him. He had left the tower mere minutes after her visit walking until he had found somewhere calm and peaceful to sit and think things through.

His hand was an accident, one that he would make sure he mitigated any chance of it happening again, the blaster in his gauntlet had imploded damaging his hand. He was lucky that there wasn't any external damage to the hand to go along with the nerve damage he was suffering. While it meant that he wouldn't be able to take on any real projects for the next few days he didn't feel like Iron Man had taken anything from him. It was an accident, something that could have just as easily happened to him in his workshop while he was working on something or other.

The tattered relationship between them, he didn't really count Iron Man as having taken their relationship and turning it into the mess it was now, he lay the blame more at the feet of himself and Pepper. Pepper couldn't cope with the reality of his role as Iron Man and he hadn't been willing to give Iron Man up when she had issued her ultimatum. As a result their relationship had ended and they had become rather stilted with one another, back to being professional with each other, even their friendship seemed to have fizzled out.

Iron Man on the other hand, no pun intended, had helped him in several ways. The suit gave him a sense of security and safety that he hadn't felt since before he had travelled to Afghanistan and been captured. He hadn't felt that sense of safety in any other way, the closest he had gotten to it was locked in his workshop with Jarvis and his bots as his only company. Pepper, Happy and even Rhodey hadn't managed to make him feel anywhere near as secure.

He had also felt like announcing that he was Iron Man had helped him keep control of his own autonomy in a way. He knew that Pepper hadn't been impressed after that Press conference when he had gone against his orders to keep the news a secret, but she didn't know SHIELD like he did. If he had kept things quiet he wouldn't have had any control over his own intellectual property. SHIELD would have stolen his suit or his plans and had them patented away from him as quickly as they could. Iron Man being stripped down by their Research and Development guys to find out how to replicate the suit for their needs. While he had later worked alongside the other Avengers to stop the invasion he still didn't trust SHIELD.

He tried to shake off Pepper's question, it was moot anyway, he wasn't about to give up being Iron Man. Anyway it wasn't as if Iron Man was a separate entity taking things away from Tony, he was Iron Man. Iron Man and Tony Stark were the same person, Iron Man was just the suit, the mask, the armour he wore to protect himself from danger, Tony was the man inside making all the decisions.


End file.
